Living the line

I walk the line
Always walking the line

Youngest of the old
Oldest of the young

Dumbest of the wise
Wisest if the dumb

Too geek to be a true researcher
But researchers are never truly one of their subjects

White in the black
Black in the white

Worst of the best
Best of the worst

Too classical to be pop
Too pop to classical

Both sides are always puling
I let them take me
I hate letting sides win

Brightest of the deep
Deepest of the bright

When am I me
When am I more than the line

My sex life, lack there of

I have previously written about lack of interest in sex.  Today I went for a study visit where ether Dr asked if there was a connection between the decreased sex drive might have something to do with my chosen birth control.  Looking back I think that might have been something I should have changed sooner.  After only a couple of weeks on the new medication I got that part of me back.

There was more to my decrease than just the medicated ring, however when multiple things get together, one must either change change what you can or accept the new self.  I am glad I chose change.

I keep thinking I know my body so well, then something like this pops up, shows and me how wrong I am.

All are one

I have finally gotten everything all together.  All the blogs I had all over the net, are now here.

On a side note:  If you do not get the subject, I feel sorry for you.

Notes from back in the day

As someone that does research on Geek Girl Culture, there needs to be more dealt with than just Geek Girl culture, but also the over arching female culture, and this is a poem I received while taking a class on the image of women throughout history.

Barbie Enters a Contemplative Order

"Sister Barbie" has a nice ring, don't you think?  And where else is there to go when you're sick of the dream house?  A girl can only take so much pink.  I've done the globe -- gone from Native American buckskin to Indian sari.  With the right outfit, I'll fit anywhere, straddle the ages: from Pilgrim Goody to Dead Head Barbie, from Mary Magdalene to Jackie O.  Sans crow's feet, sagging boobs and bunions, time's tno stumbling block.

I've tried on Dorothy's pinfore and pigtails, though I couldn't click the ruby slippers.  Glinda's puffed-sleeve prom dress fit me too, and her star-tipped magic glittered in my hand.  Poor Ken, with the fake ticker stitched to his Tin Man chest, made me consider what I've missed.  Made me want to sing, "If I only had a clit."

So I was ready for my stint as Rapunzel Barbie.  But after Ken hung, tangled in my braids, found himself tossed into my bower, we couldn't think of anything to do but pose.  Who'd have believed, I'd want to lose my hair?

But first, on to Grecian Goddess Barbie, though which one?  Must be Aphrodite.  Fleet-footed Artemis wouldn't be caught dead in all that fru-fru.  Ringlets, and bracelets, and crown: oh my!  I would have made a cute Persephone, my lips painted a pouty pomegranate.  Or why not Demeter, Mother Extraordinaire?  Why not Hestia, the happy house-frau?  Why not Hecate, gaunt and wizened Godess of the Crossroads?

It's her realm Sister Barbie crosses into, where I'll face down wrinkles and decay, as long as I don't - please God - meet up with Father Ken in this get-up, I'll just die.  Think of it as entering a whole new world of accessories - trading jewels for rosary, pocketbooks for prayer book.  I'll enter singing "If I only had a soul."



There will likely be more notes from back in the day, especially now that I no longer have scheduled research time.  The lack of scheduled research also means what will be appearing here will get more and more random until everything starts to come together for publishing.

Time for some board gaming quotes

If moms were pokemon, I would have them all ~ N

I do not recognize any of the symbols ~ J
I do, this is a circle, this is a triangle ~ C

Did you put ice cream on a cookie? ~ N (it was in fact)

Anybody want to trade?  No, wait ~ N

Overthinking, thinking thinking thinking

I overthink excessively, I mean really obsessively excessively overthink.  I commonly find myself overthinking, then overthinking how obsessively I am overthinking.

I keep trying to keep it from affecting more than just my own mind, but I see it attract the way I act with people which means out cannot to kept from affecting others.

Certain people are capable of getting me to not overthinking around them they do so just by existing.  I still overthink things after, but they are a short term fix.  I want to be the best me I can be without needing them.

I want to be me without the obsessions, without the fixations, without the overthinking, but without those who am I?