4 times flipped off

But they are all encrypted. ~ P
Yeah, 'we hacked your site, and are stopped by your encryp...' no ~ D

Because the pen is mightier than the sword, and two pencils is even mightier. ~ P

We got big trouble ~ S
Right here is River City. ~ E

Now I want to write a song about Rivet City. ~ E

She is going to hit you so hard, so much blood would come out that Tarantino would pop into the world and say 'damn' ~ D

Sometimes when I type texts pandora pops up. Its like my phone is saying 'oh, you are typing a message, you would like some music to accompany you'. Pandora is Clippy. ~ D

After this we will go to the beach and you can kick sand in my face. ~ E

Beaches in Washington? Thats not kicking sand, thats kicking rocks. ~ D

The night ended early, so the total number of times I was flipped off was only 4, there was another one aimed at someone else.

Easy A

Just watched Easy A, and while I really liked the movie this post is just about what it got me thinking about, and the discussion I had with a friend during it.

Towards the end there is a scene where Olive and her mother are talking.  My friend teases me that I will be a mom like her.  I started crying, not because being a mom like that would be bad, but because I just want to be a mom who is proud of her kids no matter what.  I know if I had a daughter like Olive I would be proud, very proud.  I know if I had a son like Todd I would be proud, would be more proud to have a kid like him in every way, except that he stands up for her in front of others, not just in private.  But I know if I somehow ended up with someone like any of the "Christian" kids I would have serious reservations about being proud of them, not because they are "Christian", but because there are in name only.  I pray I never have a kid that needs to pay someone to make them not the lowest person on the social totem pole.  If I have a son that is straight edge, the perfect model of innocents, I want him to know that his mother is proud of him being everything I am not.

Some people say that we have kids just to punish them, some say we have kids to better the world, when I have kid(s) I want to have them because they will be a symbol of love, and I want to learn from what was wrong in my childhood, and take what was good.  I know it is too much to say I want to be the perfect mother someday, but I can say that one day I want to be a mother, and I want to be a mother that loves her kids no matter how I ruin them.

PVP D&D

I have never eaten a house cat, that I know of ~ U
Have you been to china ~ D
Yes, that is why I said that I know of ~ U

Where are you moving to? ~ U
Queen Anne ~ J
Where is that? ~ U
(only funny as everyone else is fluent in Seattle, and our South African is not)

Its very pink ~ U

It's not pants-less poker except for the dealer. ~ B

Contagious, its a real long time cunt-age. ~ U

You know they say sex ends after marriage, which is why you just make love or fuck. ~ U

Underground pants-less poker dens. D

I can see all those little green bums. ~ A

I like to fuck with people, and he gave me an invitation. ~ E
No he didn't. ~ A
She got dibs remember? ~ J
(/grabs hand, points at ring) See, dibs. ~ A

What is it PVP D&D day? ~ D

How many software engerneers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Wait, that sounds like hardware problem. ~ B
But it is though. ~ J

What did those women and children do to you? ~ B

Arkham razor is what the joker uses to shave. ~ B

I make my save vs ... ~ A
Pukification ~ U

Bong fire? Why would someone want to burn bongs? ~ U

Surprise butt sex, 'til you die. ~ D

But I think I am more immature, so I have that edge. ~ B

He is full of vim and vigor. ~ J
He is full of vim and something. ~ D
He is full of vim and starburst vodka. ~ E

That was way better than my Jew joke. ~ D

More Graduation type thougthts

I just headed to bed, but could not sleep as I am just too darn giddy about things.

I was all jumpy with graduation coming up. I keep going 'this is the moment I have lived 28 years for'. But as someone who twas raised by a philosopher I think about things in a weird way. I think about how everything is new, and everything is old, everything is different, everything is always the same. Yes graduation is something I have lived the last 28 years for, then again, this moment, this post is something I have lived the last 28 years for. Whether I know in the moment of an action that everything I am and everything I have ever been is in that moment. This post is a creation of the writing, thinking, studying, and craziness that is the whole of me.

When I took my first Anthropology class the prof told us that you can never come to a situation without some predisposition about it. You cannot separate the current from the whole.

That is not to say that this coming moment is not huger than any moment I have experienced before, because there are few moments in my life that will be remembered as this one will (and it is still a month and a half away), but there are so many moments that created it, that it is not a solo moment.

Thankfully I have some time to figure out will be invited to what graduations (and decide whether I want a grad party or two). I graduated high school early, and it took me 10 years to get the BA (that would be pathetic if not for the break in the middle).

Now I shall double check what stuff I need to deal with in the next month, and then give a second attempt to sleeping.

Stuff n things, even

I have not gotten nearly as much done as I hoped today. Kept getting distracted by randomness, including my sudden cravings for things that have nothing to do with what I am doing. Like my want to go dancing, right now, and my want to have specific conversations with certain people, again, right now; there is no reason that any of these cravings should be happening right now, other than my brain cannot get off said thoughts. This is why the nice drs say I have severe mental issues, I spend more than 8 hours a day dealing with/focusing on thoughts, and unable to leave them, unable to move to the next thought, or get back to what I need to be doing.

Counseling someone like me has people going 'what order do we fix things in?', not like normalish people where they ask 'how do we help you?'. That is not to say I am broken, and need to be fixed, but that I do not like how I am, and want to make myself more productive, and useful. I already get more done than most people, but I know I could do more if I can get past lots of things, including the way my thoughts work.

Back from Hawaii

Hawaii gave me a good break from the real world, kind of. It gave me time to think, still not sure what I am going to do about so many things. Got a sun burn, not too bad, well, originally it was, but I took good care of the shoulders, and it is barely peeling, now I am slightly brown, kind of hope to keep it, as my sun allergy basically disappears if I have even the most mild of tans.

Specifically had planned to not bring anything back for people (esp since no one asked for anything), but when you see something that is the definition of someone, plans no longer matter. Now I have to hope said people do not think I am saying anything other than 'this is so you'.

Now to cleaning, organizing, and making up for missing a week of the real world.

The gods took a paintbrush to the sky

The gods took a paintbrush to the sky
Clearing the black with red so vibrant
Red so bold
Mother Earth’s fires in the sky
The orange streaks the black
Flying the horizon
Then yellow merging with the blue
Before reaching for the midnight black of the heavens

As the black reaches for the edge of the world
The colours lose their vibrance
They lose not their boldness
They gain their full strength
The red turns to blood as it fights for it’s last moments of splendor
The blue takes the places held by green, yellow, and their sister orange
As it loses its own to the black
Fighting to not be taken
But the black will win
And win it does
It takes blue and red to slivers
Before taking them completely
They flash one last time,
Tomorrow they will again be painted,
Tomorrow they will fight the black

Waiting is evil

I have not flown in so very, very long. Now I am all hyper with anticipation.

I also find my mind racing with so many thoughts, and nothing to do with them, except apparently write them, and probably post them.

Mono not quite working right, kind of

So after much soul searching I have realized I am in all actuality a monogamous person. Then last night happened, and while technically neither person involved is in a relationship, this seems to be me telling me that I suck at monogamy.

I guess Hawaii will give me time to do some more soul searching, or at least come to grips with my sucking at monogamy.

From torture to tea

I was having emotional issues at the time, thank you very much. ~ S

I am going to wait outside his house, and wait until he comes home and talk nicely to him and make him tea. ~ N

We could do an interpretative dance. ~ S
We have issues. ~ E

I will head out there with tea for him. ~ S

Hurt not heal, got it. ~ S
He figures if you just hit the wound enough it will close up. ~ D

I call a halt. ~ S
I am pretty sure he is busy. ~ N
We do not have a halt in the group ~ S
No, but we know a Holt. ~ N

What if you just give us the information and we just kill you, you say they will do worse. ~ N

You don't know him well enough to give him oil. ~ N

Bob's shady chicken place, discretely serving chicken for 20 years. ~ N
No, only for a week, the week before it was something else, and the week before that it was something else. ~ E
No, that week it was Bert's butcher shop. ~ D
But the week before that it was a shady business. ~ E
Yes. ~ D

On the list we put a 'B' for burnt. ~ S

We cross them off, a little 'd' for dead. ~ S

It says accidental ... ~ D
dimemberment. ~ N
Yes. ~ D

You get back to your house and your prized azelia's have been torched. ~ D
POR QUUUEEE. ~ N

I mourn the bacon. ~ E
We are gathered here today to mourn the death of bacon, ~ N
Kevin Bacon? ~ D
I wish. ~ N

I roll a natural 20. ~ S
Ok, so you get a google street view. ~ D

Don't avoid anything, just run him over. ~ N