My music ... not so normal

I really enjoy music in languages that are not my first, and sometimes even in ones that I do not even know.   Some Irish popped on my radar, sadly there is no CD for it (at least not that I can find).

My phone is probably half classical, about 10% is Folk, the rest is pop/rock; only about half the pop is in English, and Hold the Heathen Hammer High is the only rock I have in English.

Am I weird?

I like getting hair cuts, but want my hair long

Oh, wait, I know I am weird

What I have running in the background

Burning Man

It is not always up, in fact, it has lots of down, and lots of random (have not had the start up screen happen recently), so when it starts again it usually confused me (that is not the music that should be there ...)

My interest in Burning Man has been hurt by a few things over the years, and none of it was actually connected to Burning Man itself.  I have wanted to go for years, there was always a reason I could not, then I started going to PAX, now that I am not a PAX person anymore I might actually go ... except for this one guy.  I have a crush on this guy (some argue once you have gotten as close as we have it no longer is a crush), we met at a point when I was very open about most everything, except for a couple of things I had been teased about, one of those things was my want to go Burning Man; over the years he has gotten involved in most of the things I never told him I was interested in, this would be fine if they were normal things, but instead it feels like we are in some kind of weird stalking/counter-stalking relationship.  If my favourite music types were not Gypsy and Balkan this would not be as much an issue, but as he loves playing his music, it makes everything else feel a bit weird.

Recipe: Cake Batter Martini

1 ½ oz Three Olives Cake Vodka
1 oz Godiva White Chocolate Liqueur
2 oz Milk
Rim glass with vanilla frosting and multi-colored sprinkles!

And now I want cookie batter martini ...

Gay dinner

How to Make Rainbow Pasta 

1) Boil individual pots of water.
2) Use different food coloring in each one and drain and rinse separately.
3) Mix together ... 
Enjoy

Self improvement, take a couple

Read a book every day
Learn a new language
Pick up a new hobby
Take up a new course
Create an inspirational room
Overcome your fears
Level up your skillsWake up early
Have a weekly exercise routineGet out of your comfort zoneIdentify your blind spotsAsk for feedbackStay focused with to-do lists
Acknowledge your flawsGet into actionLearn from people who inspire you.Quit a bad habitCultivate a new habitAvoid negative peopleLearn to deal with difficult peopleLearn from your friendsStart a journalGet a mentor or coachReduce the time you spend on chat programsStop watching TVStart a 30-day challengeMeditateLearn public speakingLet go of the pastShow kindness to people around youReach out to the people who hate youTake a breakRead at least 1 personal development article a dayCommit to your personal growth

Quick bit of geeking as I head to bed

This is how I check the weather.  I find it amusing to see 2-5 planets listed in one day.

As far as the new Batsy Harleys Joker has very similar thoughts as I do.

Booze mixed into science geekery:

And now, I must sleep, as I have gaming, and drinking, and such tomorrow

More geek booze - Elderflower Scrolls: Skyyrum

- Skyy vanilla vodka
- Sparkling elderflower presse
- Spiced rum
- Orange peel

This whole drink entirely around a series of highly amusing Skyrim puns – but luckily, it's also delicious.
First, create a sugared rim by dipping your high ball glass into the vanilla vodka, and then into a plate of sugar.
Now put ice into the glass and pour in 175ml of the presse down the side (the inside, of course).
Add a measure of spiced rum on top of that, and garnish with an orange peel dragon's tongue.

Gaming party tomorrow, and remember real geeks do it on the table, cause board games on the floor is just stupid

Portal shots

The Two Portal Twos

Ingredients:
Blue Curacao
Vodka
Lemonade
Cointreau
Rum
Orangina 

Directions: 
For the blue version in 10ml of Blue Curacao, 10ml of vodka and top up with lemonade.
For orange you’ll need 10ml of Cointreau, 10ml of rum and Orangina.
If you want to be give it a real Portal look, you can jazz the glasses up with coloured sugar rims.
Simply pour some sugar into a sandwich bag with the relevant food colouring, shake them up, pour the resulting mix into a dish and dip your shot glass in.

Afflek and other actor 'issues'

I am sure this makes me a crazy person, but I do not prejudge actors in movies.  Too many times I have seen an actor-character pairing that I found odd, but I wait for the movie to come out to find out if it just seems odd, or if they really should not have been made.

Why do I not have hate for some actor or role choice?  Because I cannot be certain how it will turn out, if I were BBC Sherlock I probably could, but I decided I would rather spend my brain trying to fix some of the extreme weirdnesses instead of picking the world to pieces.

PAX Prime

I was excited about going to PAX when I got the badges.  I was excited up until this week.  I realized I had promised to do something that Friday, and was going to be missing most of that day.  I was super bummed for a bit, then I realized there was nothing I was missing that I was not ok with missing.  I then thought if I missed Saturday what would I be sad about missing, realized a panel a friend was on, and one other panel.  Ok, what would I be sad about missing Sunday, same as Saturday.  Ok, what I would be sad about missing must be Monday, right? nope, fine missing Monday too.  That was when I decided to look at getting rid of my tickets, no mark up, so no posting on ebay.  I tried my friends first, all already had them, were working it, or were not wanting to go.  Then I went friends of friends, and had someone wanting as soon as I put it out there.

Am I sad not to be going?  Yes, but only because I like the comradery of conventions, and the swag.  I can get the comradery elsewhere, and the swag, well, I cannot get that anywhere else.

I realized I was more excited by the idea of PAX than PAX itself.  PAX is awesome, do not get me wrong, but there are people out there who are more excited by PAX than the idea of PAX, and I think those are the people that should be the ones going.

I have been thinking about getting back into the full geek swing of things (going to conventions, etc), but this made me realize I need to think about each thing, what am I most interested in about each thing, and only go to those things were I am more excited by the thing itself than the idea.  I have been wanting to go to Burning Man for more than a decade, each year there was a reason for me not to, then I started going to PAX, keeping me from really considering it, now I worry that I am more excited by the idea of Burning Man than the experience of Burning Man, although no real decision can be made until I actually do it ...

Horrible Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Newton:   A chicken at rest tends to stay at rest, a chicken is motion tends to cross the road.

Darwin:   Chickens, over the great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposition to cross roads.

Einstein:   Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Heisenberg:   Because the chicken is moving very fast, you can either observe the chicken or you can measure its speed, but you cannot do both.

I just heard one about circumcision, but as laughing at it send one to hell, so I shall cut off here.

Flaming S’more Martini

Why is 2 in the afternoon too early to drink?

Ingredients

• 1 oz cream de cacao
• 1 oz marshmallow vodka
• 1 oz irish cream
• 1 oz heavy cream
• 1 teaspoon chocolate syrup
• 1/4 cup crushed graham crackers
• 1 roasted marshmallow

Instructions

1. Rim martini glass with chocolate syrup. Coat in graham cracker crumbs.
2. Combine cream de cocao, vodka, irish crea, and cream in a shaker over ice. 
3. Strain into martini glass and garnish with a toasted marshmallow.

Notes

For a flaming martini float very high proof liquor like Bacardi 151 or Everclear.

Is it bad ...

That I have been up nearly 2 hours, and already want a drink?

For the most part I actually do not drink that much, but some days I want to start when I roll out of bed (or in todays case, slide out of bed)

Off to bed with me, but first ...

For the Whovians who need some help

What I drank this weekend ...

I have just a bit at the bottle of a bottle of Galliano, so have been doing mixed shots (do not do straight Galliano, it is too much, the mouth becomes one with the licorice flavour)

Fraser Shot
1/2 oz Galliano
1 oz Baileys
 (The normal recipe is double and not for shooting)

Galliano Iced Tea - The Tea
3/4 oz Galliano
3/4 oz Kahlua
(The actual iced tea version involves double this recipe and Squirt, but as I prefer shots 95% of the time, I modified)

Saturday Night Question Time

What’s the difference between you and most of the other people?
So many things, so very many things.  Having aspergers means I have learned lots of things on my own, the most important is how to learn about social things, and myself.  When I was diagnosed pre-diabetic at 13 I was told I might want to start checking my blood sugar on an at least weekly basis, I decided that I would rather learn my body so that I knew when my blood sugar was high, low, and normal, and even exactly how much of what was required to get back to normal.  I am Pansexual, of Asexuel, depending on how you view things, neither of those are normal.

Are you making some influences on the world or constantly being influenced by the world?
Neither and both.  I try to not be influenced as much as possible, because I am me and I like it that way, but to better myself needs outside help sometimes.  I mostly just influence the world by being better and making others smile.

The thing you cried for last time, does it matter to you now or will it matter to you 5 years later?

Oh, goodness, no it does not matter now.  I cannot say if it will matter in five years, a friendship ending is, well, it is, and I cannot say what it will look like to me in five year.

Geek Booze Thing of the Weekend

The GigglingYoda

Vodka (1 oz.)
Ginger Ale
1/2 a Pear (cored and peeled)
5-6 Green Grapes
2 Tsp Lime Juice
1 Sprig of Mint

Pour the vodka in the martini glass
Blenderize all of the fruit and mint into a puree and pour it in the glass (gives the swampy look
Top it off with some ginger ale (gives the swamp a bubbly look)

Not all that boozy, but rather geeky.

With all the stuff in Russia I questioned if I should go with a non-vodka recipe, I am pro LGBT, Stoli is pro LGBT, Russia is being stupid and backward, I will let people decide for themselves where they stand.

Thinky Thoughts on Loneliness

This brought up thinky thoughts.

I have a good number of people on my friends list I do not know well. Some I keep on my FB because I want to know them better, some because they teach me things, some because we have some deep connection but only that one way do we have anything, and a few that I keep thinking about cutting because we have nothing. I probably could only count 50 of my FB people as real friends, the rest are just FB friends.  Seeing the number of my FB friends actually makes me feel a bit lonely because of all the people I do not really know.

I think it is weird that this blog makes me feel less lonely.  Almost no one I know knows about it, the majority of the people reading are people I have never met.  Sometimes it feels like shouting at nothingness, although really, that is not that far off, just that there are people in the nothingness who hear it.

Dragon Age writer quits because people are dicks about her doing a good job

This is horrible.  She is an amazing person.  I only met her the one time, she made time to talk to every single person that wanted to talk to her, even though that meant standing there for nearly an hour after her Panel had ended.

The fighting may be her least favourite, but she does good work on a game where you end almost every battle covered in blood.  She made sure the story was the lead, and you know what, that is why many female gamers kept coming back.  Just like in the real world the inner battle is more important and interesting than combat.

Weather can make me smile

Ok, not the weather itself, but checking it here.  I do not look at the bad, I smile at jokes about what I should do, 'oh, its Naboo out there clearly I should do some art, and not fall for a Jedi'.

Thinky Questions ... to take my mind off other things

If you could travel to the past in a time machine, what advice would you give to the 6-year-old you?
Being smart is not something to fear, or hide.

Would you break the rules because of something/someone you care about?
Yes, ask me a hard one

Have you ever abandoned a creative idea that you believed because others thought you were a fool?
Yes, a lot, sadly

Are you afraid of making mistakes even though there’s no punishments at all?
I have aspergers, so this happens all the time.  I make a minor mistake after everything else has been going great, and start to panic, the next time I have a chance to do the rest of the things I say no because of fear of remaking that minor mistake, even though nothing happened because of that minor mistake.

If you would clone yourself, which of your characteristics would you not want to be cloned?
Part of me wants to say get rid of the Aspergers, part of me wants to say get rid of the Fibromyalgia.  Aspergers is not something I would want cured so much as I just wish it had gotten diagnosed earlier, and if they were cloning me they would know of the genetics so they would be keeping an eye out for it.  The Fibromyalgia is much more cumbersome in that its causing pain, a lot, but there again if they knew of the likelihood of getting it the clones parents could work on keeping it at bay.  If I were going to be cloned I would leave me as me, and warn the clone parents that giving clone me milk with hormones causes the boobs to get insane, which can cause back problems.

Hospitals suck

My mom was going to come home today, there were complications, she will likely not come home tomorrow either.

Been at the hospital for a while, and likely will be for a bit longer, mostly cause of keys being locked in car.  Mild panic over how she is doing means I was not thinking when I went to get something out of the trunk, and put the keys in before I closed it.

My mom and I may not see eye to eye on everything, but I still do not want to lose her.

I am a Christian, and think prayers help, but I am also a scientist, and know that it is medications that are what are really helping her.

Geek up your Friday night out (or in)

Sonic the Hedgehog shot

1 part grenadine
2 parts Menthomint Schnapps
4 parts Blue Curacao


Layer grenadine first, then the Mentholmint schnapps and Blue Curacao on top.

5 Deep Questions, With Little ol' Me

Are you doing what you truly want to do?

No, not at all, in fact, not doing any of the things I consider important.

Do you have a dream to follow?

Yes, but I think it decided to leave me behind.  Kind of sad when your dreams are not that big, but are still too big for you.

Are you proud of what you are doing or what you have done?

Nope, not at all.  I am not a horrible person, but I have way to high expectations for myself to be proud.

How many promises you have made and how many of them you have fulfilled?
I do not promise unless I can follow through.  As far as how many promises I have made, over my whole life I would say less than 100 promises, and that includes stupid things like bringing someone a birthday cake.  I do however have a 100% fulfillment rate.

Have you ever failed anyone who you loved or loved you?

I fail people all the time, I try to fail those closest to me as little as possible, but I know I have, and know I likely will in the future.  But I try to learn from the the failures, so that while failures happen in the future it is not the same failures.

Truthiness is fun

More ex-besty bitching, kind of

So the ex-besty asked earlier this week for his xbox back, this would be fine if he did not have two other xboxes that I paid for that I was letting him keep.  He found a different one, that way he got to keep those two, and have the one I have been using for a few years.  I am trading him back this one tomorrow, in prep for that I have deleted everything.

It was kind of sad deleting all the things from it, but upon realization that those few games I had bought on the xbox could be used by him if I did not delete them I got a bit of a rush.

As I continued disconnecting all my live stuff from this xbox I realized I could not delete my account while still being logged on.  I am sure there are ways to just delete everything, but each click made me smile, and I am sure there is a way to not do what I did and still erase my account for this xbox, but it made me made the pain ignorable for a few minutes.

To delete my account from this little friend I created a new account, one with account name Player1 (it was the basic suggestion), I then made it look as close to ex-besty as possible.  I deleted the last of my stuff from it, and then played a few minutes of Oblivion, just because that was the first game he bought me (well, he gave it to me saying he bought it, but it was actually a gift from someone else) and now that save will be the only thing one it when/if he ever plugs it up.

This bitch wants to leave a bitter taste in his mouth, he screwed up enough of my life and finances that making him a little sad makes me a little happy.

weird music combined with silly

I had one song stuck in my head, I got my brain to switch songs, on accident.  I thought 'I am a dork', and put it to a song, realized that made me even more of a dork.

Music is good for keeping the brain off the other things, so I will let my brain continue to ruin good music with "I'm a dork, I'm a dork, I game all night"

Surgery

My mom had one knee replaced a while back.  It took a lot from everyone in the family.  Helping her get in and out of bed, the shower, using the computer (she may be from the 40's but she is more tech savvy than most people from the 70's).

Tomorrow she is having the other knee replaced.  I am currently preparing to clean her house, and prep it for her return.  Having already done this once we know a bunch of small things that need to be prepared for her.

I know I do not post regularly at all, but with all the help required to help someone who just had a knee replacement I will either be posting less, or more, but it will be even more random stuff than it currently is.

Politics are getting sad ...

when current politicians are considered worse than Newt

That is all

Best Friend is not so much a friend anymore

At this point I am trying to figure out if the ex-besty is attempting to get me back by proving he is an adult, or if he is attempting to get everyone to think I am the reason his life is so screwed.

I can say I do not believe he has grown up, and it will take real evidence before I accept such a premise.

I can also say, I really wish I had realized how horrible he was for me years ago;  he got me to push other friends away, he got me to only accept the people he wanted around me, he got me to question myself even more than I already did.

Time for this 30 year old to figure out who she is, and who is healthy for her, herself, instead of trusting someone else.