Yay insurance

Until recently I had not had insurance since I was on my parents insurance. Upon getting it I went out immediately (seriously, next day), to see a doctor. I have lots of issues, major and minor that I have learned to deal with, but have hurt my 'quality of life'.

I told my new doctor my health problems, and that I am not a fan of just taking a bunch of pills to fix everything. My issue with taking pills to fix everything would not matter for most people, but because I have multiple issues taking a pill for one thing almost automaticly means making something else worse, which of course means I would then need to take another pill to fix that, which would . . . Thankfully my doctor understands that and is going to slowly put me on meds to make sure there are no interactions, we will be dealing with things in the order of importance (but not my order, as it turns out there were issues I did not know about).

But before I go on any new meds (even without insurance birth control is not hard to get) we are seeing what can be fixed with over the counter stuff. I have a morning/evening week pill holder that just picking up makes me feel like a druggy, and all it has is vitamins. I have B, C, Calcium/D, Fish Oil, multivitamin, and a few of others. Being unhealthy seems so much simpler than having to remember to take pills in the morning, and evening.

Before we put me on any meds there will also be a nutrisonist consulated, to see if there is something I can add, or get rid of, in my diet.

I sometimes wish I was actually a person that acted unhealthy, instead of someone that did just about everything I am told to do, then at least I could say it was my fault not just genetics. However I have never been given more than I can handle, and life goes.

Memberable

Memberable
Not sure why
Not sure how
But it seems that i am
I walk into a room
People see me
They know me
This is how it used to be
But that was so long ago
It feels likes ages ago
I feel like I lost her
And yet she is back

The pain is written wherever you look
My face is etched with pain,
You think I look fine,
But you cannot see,
See inside of me.
You cannot feel the pain,
The pain I fell.
No one can feel my pain,
But me,

Ruler

I think too much
I know this
Sometimes I fear this

I overthink
I cannot live in he moment

I forgot I lived there
Only you
I lost myself in you
I let go
There is no more beautiful a moment

Bending Battles

There was a discussion my friends were having, which element would be the most powerful bending? So I will cover the basic stuffs

Air Bending - Can always be used, as air will exist anywhere.
Water Bending - Skilled/smart benders can create water. Really skilled benders can blood bend. This is the only element that can take multiple form (ice-water-steam).
Earth Bending - This is the only truly solid element. Skilled benders can 'see' through the vibrations in the ground. Really skilled benders can metal bend.
Fire Bending - The most destructive of all the elements. Much like air fire bending can always be used. Fire bending's special is lighting.

Thinking about everything I must say it all depends on the skill level of the bender.

If we are talking base level bender: Fire is the strongest, as air cannot destroy other elements without some skill/practice.
If we are talking someone who has learned their element: Air is the strongest. A jet of air can shatter ice, and stone, and much like in Fantastic Four air can be used to control fire. It takes being near master level to have blood bending, vibration vision, and as metal bending requires vibration vision, metal bending.
If we are talking master benders: This is the level where things get tricky I have not seen anything that skill/practice can gain a normal bender from the Air nation. Fire gains lighting, but when paired with an equally skilled water bender shooting lighting at them just has them letting the lighting flow through them, and then back out. Metal bending seems pretty powerful, but first the person must find the 'rock' in it, which really just mean that the earth bender has an extra step before metal can be used. I think the ability to force a person to do anything makes you the strongest, in 1v1, but if they have friends, and your friends and the person you are controlling cannot protect you.

All of this to say I cannot say which nation is the strongest. I can say fire would likely win on a base level, one of no skill, in 1v1. Air would have a good chance of winning in a skilled 1v1. In a masters 1v1 a water bender willing to go dark would win.

In truth I think strongest bender is one who fights with friends from all other nations. A 4v4 where one side has a skilled member from each of the nations, versus a group that is not diverse.

All of this logic was based on fair fighting. The Fire Navy never did play fair.

It pull you to the edge,
But leaves you hanging.
You get so high,
There is no where to go
But down.
They have always said it was wrong,
But never why.
Now you try it.
You see nothing wrong,
And never will.
No one ever does,
Not 'til the end,
'Til they have gone.

Everyday

All I ask is that someone listens,
listen to me.
Not to tell me that was wrong,
Or that I should have done this or that.
Why couldn't that be you?
Too worried about yourself,
Your own life, Not caring about anything else,
Even me, or my life,
Me, the one you are supposed to care so much about.
The simple 'I love you' everyday
Does not do shit, for me, or my life.
You think you can change me,
The way I live my life,
The friends I hang with.
You cannot,
not even by the everyday 'I love you'

The writing (is mine)
It is me
The words (are mine)
They are me
The picture (was me)
But you cannot see inside

Nothing

I am not who you think I am
I am the one hidden
Hidden behind a mask
I am the one you fear
I am the one who fears nothing
Nothing is all that I am

My love

My love
no longer pure
But was it ever so?
My heart says no
My mind says no
My soul
my soul says yes
But that was long ago
Longer than the heart, nor the mind
can remember

Opinion

Opinion
Asked for
Given
Forgotten

Opinion
Asked for
Given
Trampled
(Loss of heart)

Opinion
Asked for
Given
Misused

Opinion
Asked for
Given
Twisted
(What heart)

Opinion
Asked for
Given...
.
...Nothing

Opinion
Asked for
Given
Forgotten
Loss of soul

Opinion
Asked for
A lost soul
Has no opinion

1st Day 2nd Time 2nd Try

First day of the second quarter. I still fell out of place, but not because of anything except that I know I am not one of them anymore. I left here. It was not a choice I liked making, but I made it, and now I will never really be one of them. I know none of them is completely normal. Being normal involves so much work, while so little. The ‘normal’ college student is supposed to drink a certain amount on a daily basis, they are supposed to spend a certain amount of time at a job, time with friends, time studying, and time sleeping, and eating, but when you add up the hours needed to do all these things you end up with more than 24 hours needed in a day. Where do they take the time from? There is nothing free to take them from. Even if they eat while working, and somehow also spending time with friends the hours are too few.

I did not want to leave, I wanted to stay on course, I wanted to be in the front of the classroom by this point in my life, but I am not. I am sitting in the front row, waiting for the prof to show, waiting for the day to begin. I have always known what I wanted to do. Teach, mold the brains of our youth, teach them to think for themselves (even when it means disagreeing with me). I let my life get dragged off course, I let myself be taken from the path.

Here I sit, waiting for the class to begin, my life to be forced back to the path.

Umbrella Corp

Spent a whole 5ish minutes testing out the CD painting concept. Worked pretty well, could use more detail work, but it made the giftee very happy.

I agree with Glenn Beck? Eww

He is very set in his wrong ways, so how can I agree with anything he says or does?

In truth there is no pure right, wrong, good, or bad in our universe. It seems nearly impossible for him to change his thoughts, and his base opinions are based in facts that are not true, and logic that is flawed. But he does actually have a brain, and it seems he sometimes lucks into being right.

Last night he even gave honour (by using and giving credit for an idea) to MLK. Showed 2 videos showing similar actions, one where the victim is understood, and one where people cannot seem to agree on who is in fact the victim.

He is also siding against Texas. Texas has said the Ben Franklin is not worthy of being a founding father, Glenn Beck disagrees, and even went through a list of why he thinks Ben Franklin is worthy of being considered a founding father. In the time I listened he did not say "Texas disagrees" or anything of that nature, but it was clear to anyone that knows what Texas did that he think Texas went too far.

The Power of 3

The power of three:

Three names I go by:
1. Ella
2. Sparkles
3. Bubbles

Three Jobs I have had in my life:
1. Executive Assistant
2. Greeter
3. EOP

Three Places I have lived:
1. YBI
2. Edmonds
3. Seattle

Three Favorite drinks:
1. Mt Dew
2. Lambic
3. Green Tea

Three TV Shows that I watch:
1. Bones
2. Chuck
3. Lie to Me

Three places I have been:
1. Alaska
2. Florida
3. Maine
(as we already know the CA part, the other 3 corner seemed the way to go)

Three of my favorite foods:
1. Daniel's Mac n Cheese
2. Daniel's Fried Chicken
3. My Country Benedict

Three Things I am looking forward to:
1. Friday gaming
2. The quarter being done
3. Scanning some of my artwork, so I can put it online

Three Things that are always by my side:
1. My BB
2. A Sketch pad
3. My Wallet

Three people who have e-mailed/messaged me today:
1. My EOP Counselor
2. My Anth Counselor
3. My instructor for summer independent study

Three favorite colors:
1. Purple
2. Red
3. Gold

Three favorite items of clothing:
1. My pink sandals
2. My kimomo shirt
3. My African patterned summer dress

Last three words uttered:
1. pain
2. the
3. Oww