Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Time for another personal post

I have never hidden my sexuality, and other ... entertainment from anyone except my parents, so me posting more now should really not be a surprise.

I have started getting more social recently, sometimes in sexually open places, but still have not had sex again.  I did however cuddle, well fail at cuddling, at a sex club.

Smoking cigarettes is bad, smoking pot, not so much.  Being a complete pot head is bad.  I went from the extreme of pot head to not touching it at all.  Now I am back, but the high CBD type for pain, and a pinch of THC when being sociable.

I had stopped masturbating as much, feeling I had gotten to the point where I needed it multiple times a day. Some good things had happened, ok, not really, I no longer feel the need to masturbate, but otherwise I had not noticed anything.  Then last night happened.  I entertained myself, I slept amazingly well, my pains have lessened.

My first try of alcohol was a sip of something my mom was drinking.  My first buzz was when my and my dads Hot chocolates got confused.  My enjoyment for booze has never gone away, even when I did stupid things like drinking around people that are not are safe, or this past New Years Eve when I drank heavily on an empty stomach.  I did however learn some important rules for myself and alcohol intake.

I had become obsessed with quite a few things.  None of them were bad, in moderation, but I was doing them more than is healthy.  Addiction runs in my family, I have kept myself from any real addiction (other than cigarettes) because of the fear of being an addict, more recently seeing my sister (full blown pill addict), and my niece (who has been clean for a little more than a year).

Life is a balancing act
Sometimes I forget that
Sometimes I just fail at it
But I get up the next morning ready to try again

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