I have been able to let go of most everything. I have forgiven people who have not asked forgiveness. The only anger and pain I cling to is how the church I grew up in treated me after I was raped.
For all I know they now have group therapy for rape victims, however with me they did everything wrong. I was suddenly not allowed to be around children, be in any choirs, all I was welcome to do was give them money. I tried to stick with it, I kept going to services, and I kept feeling less and less connected as those around me built walls. They were confused why someone so involved would suddenly disconnect, they thought I had done something. I felt utterly abandoned
After six months I realized they were not going to change for the better, things would only get worse if I stayed. So I left. I left my friends of over a decade. Once I did leave I almost immediately found new places I felt at home, places that let me be me, places that would welcome me in my broken state. I found new friends, people that made me feel whole.
For all I know they now have group therapy for rape victims, however with me they did everything wrong. I was suddenly not allowed to be around children, be in any choirs, all I was welcome to do was give them money. I tried to stick with it, I kept going to services, and I kept feeling less and less connected as those around me built walls. They were confused why someone so involved would suddenly disconnect, they thought I had done something. I felt utterly abandoned
After six months I realized they were not going to change for the better, things would only get worse if I stayed. So I left. I left my friends of over a decade. Once I did leave I almost immediately found new places I felt at home, places that let me be me, places that would welcome me in my broken state. I found new friends, people that made me feel whole.
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